Tuesday, March 9, 2010

feelings about FEELINGS

This is something that has been on my mind REALLY heavy lately so I figured I would throw some things out there to get a feel for other peoples thought in this topic; and hopefully clear up some things for some people as well.

Feelings are one of the most fundamental elements of a successful relationship, and unfortunately, are one of those things that we don’t really have control over. When it comes to matters of the heart people can’t help how they feel about each other once they admit they are attracted to each other. Men and woman develop and express their feelings very differently, which unfortunate causes a lot of problems in relationships.

MEN'S feelings about FEELINGS:
It is often miss-understood that men don’t care their partner as much as their partner may care about them, especially in the beginning of a relationship. This is not true at all. Men just don’t develop strong feelings as quickly as women do. That doesn’t mean those feelings are'nt there, men just have a different way of showing them and it takes longer for men to really consider weather or not a particular woman is worth investing feelings in. When a man has genuine feelings for a woman that woman will know. A man who has genuine feelings for a woman won’t mind going that extra mile to please her or put a smile on her face. For example, a man who really likes a woman will make time for her when there is NO TIME! He'll stay on the phone late at night, or will want you to be cool wit his male friends because he sees you being around for a while. A man who doesn’t have strong feelings for a woman will be happy with the way things are and won’t feel the need to take things to another level. For example, if a guy has been talking to a girl for a considerable amount of time, and she hasn’t met anyone IMPORTANT in his life (close friends, family, MOM), then chances are he may not be feeling you as much as you think he is. And I say a considerable amount of time because it takes time for men to decide how much they like someone and weather or not it would be worth taking the relationship to a more intimate level.

WOMEN'S feelings about FEELINGS
For women, feelings take on a whole new meaning. Women can develop feelings and like a guy really quick. Unfortunately this back fires for a lot of women because by the time they see who the guy REALLY is, they have already started to like the person which makes it harder to them to let go. Women have a harder time "letting go" then men do as well. For example if a woman is in long term relationship with a guy and things suddenly come to and end, it will take longer for the woman to move on than the man. Which sometimes raises the question, "How could he really like me as much as he said he did if he moved on so quickly??? AND SHE DONT EVEN LOOK BETTER THAN ME!!!" lol jk. But all that simply means is that women hold on to feelings longer than men and have a tendency to think with those feelings as well. For example, the same woman that was in that long term relationship with that guy, even when the relationship is over, she will always have a "special place" in her heart, OR she will always "have love for him" but not be in love with him; which in actuality really means that she will always have some small feelings for that man which is hard for guys to accept a lot of times.

To kind of close things out, like I said before, once two people admit that they are both attracted to each other, the feelings are going to naturally develop and they won’t have much control over that. Always take a step back and think about the reality of the situation. Don’t think TOO MUCH with your feelings that you become blinded to what’s really going on. It is very important to understand that just people that person may not be expressing their feelings in the way that you thought they would, it doesn’t mean that they aren’t there, it just mean that they are expressing them differently because they are a man, or a woman.

Leave a comment, let me know who you are, and what you think. Thanks