This is something that has been on my mind REALLY heavy lately so I figured I would throw some things out there to get a feel for other peoples thought in this topic; and hopefully clear up some things for some people as well.
Feelings are one of the most fundamental elements of a successful relationship, and unfortunately, are one of those things that we don’t really have control over. When it comes to matters of the heart people can’t help how they feel about each other once they admit they are attracted to each other. Men and woman develop and express their feelings very differently, which unfortunate causes a lot of problems in relationships.
MEN'S feelings about FEELINGS:
It is often miss-understood that men don’t care their partner as much as their partner may care about them, especially in the beginning of a relationship. This is not true at all. Men just don’t develop strong feelings as quickly as women do. That doesn’t mean those feelings are'nt there, men just have a different way of showing them and it takes longer for men to really consider weather or not a particular woman is worth investing feelings in. When a man has genuine feelings for a woman that woman will know. A man who has genuine feelings for a woman won’t mind going that extra mile to please her or put a smile on her face. For example, a man who really likes a woman will make time for her when there is NO TIME! He'll stay on the phone late at night, or will want you to be cool wit his male friends because he sees you being around for a while. A man who doesn’t have strong feelings for a woman will be happy with the way things are and won’t feel the need to take things to another level. For example, if a guy has been talking to a girl for a considerable amount of time, and she hasn’t met anyone IMPORTANT in his life (close friends, family, MOM), then chances are he may not be feeling you as much as you think he is. And I say a considerable amount of time because it takes time for men to decide how much they like someone and weather or not it would be worth taking the relationship to a more intimate level.
WOMEN'S feelings about FEELINGS
For women, feelings take on a whole new meaning. Women can develop feelings and like a guy really quick. Unfortunately this back fires for a lot of women because by the time they see who the guy REALLY is, they have already started to like the person which makes it harder to them to let go. Women have a harder time "letting go" then men do as well. For example if a woman is in long term relationship with a guy and things suddenly come to and end, it will take longer for the woman to move on than the man. Which sometimes raises the question, "How could he really like me as much as he said he did if he moved on so quickly??? AND SHE DONT EVEN LOOK BETTER THAN ME!!!" lol jk. But all that simply means is that women hold on to feelings longer than men and have a tendency to think with those feelings as well. For example, the same woman that was in that long term relationship with that guy, even when the relationship is over, she will always have a "special place" in her heart, OR she will always "have love for him" but not be in love with him; which in actuality really means that she will always have some small feelings for that man which is hard for guys to accept a lot of times.
To kind of close things out, like I said before, once two people admit that they are both attracted to each other, the feelings are going to naturally develop and they won’t have much control over that. Always take a step back and think about the reality of the situation. Don’t think TOO MUCH with your feelings that you become blinded to what’s really going on. It is very important to understand that just people that person may not be expressing their feelings in the way that you thought they would, it doesn’t mean that they aren’t there, it just mean that they are expressing them differently because they are a man, or a woman.
Feelings are one of the most fundamental elements of a successful relationship, and unfortunately, are one of those things that we don’t really have control over. When it comes to matters of the heart people can’t help how they feel about each other once they admit they are attracted to each other. Men and woman develop and express their feelings very differently, which unfortunate causes a lot of problems in relationships.
MEN'S feelings about FEELINGS:
It is often miss-understood that men don’t care their partner as much as their partner may care about them, especially in the beginning of a relationship. This is not true at all. Men just don’t develop strong feelings as quickly as women do. That doesn’t mean those feelings are'nt there, men just have a different way of showing them and it takes longer for men to really consider weather or not a particular woman is worth investing feelings in. When a man has genuine feelings for a woman that woman will know. A man who has genuine feelings for a woman won’t mind going that extra mile to please her or put a smile on her face. For example, a man who really likes a woman will make time for her when there is NO TIME! He'll stay on the phone late at night, or will want you to be cool wit his male friends because he sees you being around for a while. A man who doesn’t have strong feelings for a woman will be happy with the way things are and won’t feel the need to take things to another level. For example, if a guy has been talking to a girl for a considerable amount of time, and she hasn’t met anyone IMPORTANT in his life (close friends, family, MOM), then chances are he may not be feeling you as much as you think he is. And I say a considerable amount of time because it takes time for men to decide how much they like someone and weather or not it would be worth taking the relationship to a more intimate level.
WOMEN'S feelings about FEELINGS
For women, feelings take on a whole new meaning. Women can develop feelings and like a guy really quick. Unfortunately this back fires for a lot of women because by the time they see who the guy REALLY is, they have already started to like the person which makes it harder to them to let go. Women have a harder time "letting go" then men do as well. For example if a woman is in long term relationship with a guy and things suddenly come to and end, it will take longer for the woman to move on than the man. Which sometimes raises the question, "How could he really like me as much as he said he did if he moved on so quickly??? AND SHE DONT EVEN LOOK BETTER THAN ME!!!" lol jk. But all that simply means is that women hold on to feelings longer than men and have a tendency to think with those feelings as well. For example, the same woman that was in that long term relationship with that guy, even when the relationship is over, she will always have a "special place" in her heart, OR she will always "have love for him" but not be in love with him; which in actuality really means that she will always have some small feelings for that man which is hard for guys to accept a lot of times.
To kind of close things out, like I said before, once two people admit that they are both attracted to each other, the feelings are going to naturally develop and they won’t have much control over that. Always take a step back and think about the reality of the situation. Don’t think TOO MUCH with your feelings that you become blinded to what’s really going on. It is very important to understand that just people that person may not be expressing their feelings in the way that you thought they would, it doesn’t mean that they aren’t there, it just mean that they are expressing them differently because they are a man, or a woman.
Leave a comment, let me know who you are, and what you think. Thanks
Facebook: Aaron MrPerfect Sinclair
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Okay I agree on the male part because a lot of young men have been raised not to be so vulnerable. And have seen things and been through things not to trust just anyone and girls are number one. but I do not agree with the female bit because we all know male as well as females play games. N so a lot of females know how to place ourselves in emotionally situations where we do not allow ourselves to be so open.Sending off signals that we are not as available because when hurt it really does hurt.
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ReplyDeleteI like your analysis of "Men's Feelings" but i wonder how you (a man) became an expert on "Women's Feelings" seeing as though you aren't a woman...unless you have something to tell me =) LOL just joking.
ReplyDeleteBut I'd have to disagree slightly on your description of a woman's feelings. I think often times men misunderstand the 'nature' of a woman (to be nuturing and caring and compassionate) as "developing feelings." (no let's put this in the proper context, we are talking about WOMEN and not girls) I find it easier to "let go" as a woman than I have observed men do. I say this because, as you stated, it takes a bit longer for a man to decipher his feelings for a woman and because of this, he is proned to have a deeper emotional tie to a woman than she MAY have. Not to say a woman can't love her man whole heartedly, because LORD KNOWS we can, but a woman is better able to adapt to unfortunate circumstances than men. Because of that, i think it takes considerably longer for a man to "get over" a broken heart than it takes for a woman.
That would explain why men are extremely cautious when dealing with their feelings and emotions and woman are a bit more 'open'.
To be honest..I believe are more emotional than women anyway...but that's for another post lol
Yes def for another post to come soon. But Im no expert. Just learn and observed a lot about women from dealing with them.
ReplyDeleteI liked it I think it was a good start for your first blog piece. Of course you cant say all men are this way and all women are this way because their are exceptions to every rule. But Im going to disagree a bit on the part where you say it takes women longer to get over someone than it will take a guy. I feel like women express themselves more. We will vent to our friends, we will listen to our songs and cry our eyes out, we will go clubbin with our girls to feel better and forget about whomever it is, and some women will immediately start dating other gus to get over it faster. Now from what Ive noticed guys are less open about their emotions and because of this I feel like it takes longer for them to get over someone than it does for women.
ReplyDeleteThank you Kristina..
ReplyDeleteBut I dont know. Women seem to hold on to feelings longer than men do. One of the main reasons I say this is because women are more likely to go back to and ex-boyfriend before a guy is willing to go back to and ex girlfriend. I thinks its safe to say its usually because the woman still likes the guy.
i think that it goes both ways. meaning, both men & women can develop rapid feelings for another when the person seems like they are everything they are looking for. being in a relationship & being in love are two different things and more than half the time people are in a relationship in which one person has stronger feelings than the other. if it comes to an end, they are the ones that are hurt the most & it takes them longer to let go because that person was "perfect" in their eyes. not all women are like that- the more we are in relationships the more we learn & the better we are able to "manage" our feelings. the whole "i still have love for him" even though he may have done her wrong is more of a stage some go through when they fail to realize that they are only hurting themselves.
ReplyDeletenice job on your blog mr.sinclair :)
I think it is true that some females do become over zealous and put feelings into a guy to quickly. However, guys are very emotional too and develop feelings for girls too quickly. Guys quickly become territorial o possessive over a girl they have just met.
ReplyDeleteThis is nice Aaron... i am goin to have to agree with Elle bee though there are girls and there are women. Guys from my experience fault the girls that they have dealt with and have an outlook as if all females are the same which is not the case girls lie play around and whatever else while us women keep it real. All in all relationships have to do with maturity as well each person in the relationship have to keep it 100 if there is ever goin to be a real future... and to this getting over reationships thing i feel it def takes longer for guys to get over relationships because alot of guys are jealous and dnt want to see their girl with anyone else until they move past watevers happened... ex's always bring up thousands of questions just so they can try and make us think that they are the best
ReplyDeleteVery nice Aaron. I just want to say though...just because a woman will always have an ex in her heart and he will always have a special place, that doesn't necessarily mean that she is not over him. She may always have small feelings for him but that is because they may have history and been through a lot together. BUT, (and you know I'm speaking from personal experienec) the woman may have an ex who she feels that way about and STILL be over him and ready to move on. It might seem threatening for the new guy, but it shouldn't be, you just have to trust her and believe what she says.
ReplyDeleteAnd there are many guys who still cling on their ex girlfriends. Whether they are trying to keep communication open just in case they may want them back or they just feel like messing around, if you kno wat I mean!
But you have good ideas Aaron and I look forward to reading your perspective in future blogs.
Very nice Aaron. I just want to say though...just because a woman will always have an ex in her heart and he will always have a special place, that doesn't necessarily mean that she is not over him. She may always have small feelings for him but that is because they may have history and been through a lot together. BUT, (and you know I'm speaking from personal experienec) the woman may have an ex who she feels that way about and STILL be over him and ready to move on. It might seem threatening for the new guy, but it shouldn't be, you just have to trust her and believe what she says.
ReplyDeleteAnd there are many guys who still cling on their ex girlfriends. Whether they are trying to keep communication open just in case they may want them back or they just feel like messing around, if you kno wat I mean!
But you have good ideas Aaron and I look forward to reading your perspective in future blogs.
Thank you Nay but I do wonder why you all seem to be convinced that men take longer to get over ex's than women do. I have to totally dissagree wit tht. I dont think women ever fully get over some of their ex's. Especially their "1st" those dudes dont even have names! They are always just refered to as "my first".
ReplyDeleteAnd this may sound really bad, but i am starting to believe that women are the same. On the surface you all are different of course but beneath the surface I feel like yall are the same when it comes to emotions, trust, and feelings.